Internet idiocy

God, it's stupid how much useless emotion can be stirred by the exchange of a few pixels.

I dated John freshman year of college for like, oh, six weeks. We were good friends, which is the sad part. I may've not really wanted a boyfriend; I suspect this has at bottom been the case throughout my life; but my roommate and best friend had a boyfriend and I wanted one, and John was one of the coolest, most original people I'd ever known, and still is. He had a habit of sleep deprivation which I used to think was the product of a ridiculous intellect; the only way he could stand being around normal people like us was by rendering himself stuporous through lack of sleep. Anyway. I broke up with him for a reason that, in my current wisdom, I'd try harder to fix, but it was a good reason at the time; the boy never touched me. I mean never; no arm-around--I think we kissed like a total of five times. I know, and I knew, that he was just painfully shy on that level; I'd been his first kiss (that's the Ivy League for you.) But it is a hard thing to take when somebody acts like they almost don't desire you; especially if you have any image issues already (and who doesn't, my friends?) the situation's all the more painful.

So I broke up with him, our friendship died, and for the next four years we drifted in and out of each other's orbit a little, but were never close, or really spent any time together. The Elle who dated John and was his friends seems like an entirely different person. A few weeks ago, I get this facebook message--they have this new feature where you put down how you met someone or whatever. I never answer; I think it's stupid. But John filled it out to indicate that we were dating. I was like wow. Obviously he remembers it fondly. It was especially interesting because even though we'd had a lot of the same friends at the time, we never talked about the fact that we were dating, although I imagine everyone's certainly found out by now. So I thought that was sweet. John's still cool, still original, and hotter than when we dated. I was like go me. Thinking maybe, hey, who knows? Maybe he'll come visit--

Then I was stalking him again today (seriously, these sites are all I ever do) and noticed he's still apparently together with the girl he was dating end of senior year, somebody--okay, she's a sweet girl, but she's no Elle Daley. A mutual friend gave me to understand it was a sort of desperate situation. But there he is on thefacebook being all "I like this girl" and apparently they're living together and practically married. The hell?

Now I feel stupid for caring in the first place. And I should. It's thefacebook.

I need to get some face-to-face flirt on.